“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.”
Everyone that read that line knew exactly how it was supposed to end. Unfortunately this “ideal” is often not reality. Many grow up with this dream for their future. Find a partner who you choose to spend the rest of your life with, marry and eventually have children. In couples struggling with infertility, this dream can seem more like a reminder of how others have it so much easier than they do. Dreams have a way of motivating us at times but also give us a sense of being stuck when we struggle to bring them into reality.
Many couples throughout the infertility process may feel alone and isolated. According to the CDC, more than 10% of women in the US have an impaired ability to become or remain pregnant. This indicates that those who are on this spectrum are not facing it alone despite how it may feel.
Couples who seek therapy while going through infertility often work on feelings of grief that present in many different points of the journey. They also focus on couple patterns that may include walking around on egg shells or withholding feelings from their partners in an attempt to protect their partner who is also really struggling with the process. Therapy can also assist couples with opening up a dream for the future that allows them to move forward and feel less stuck.
Infertility does not have to be the final word in a couple relationship. Many of these couples are able to bring a more mature and calm dynamic to parenting as the result of the struggles they endured to get there.
If you feel like you are individually or as a couple struggling with the emotional toll that infertility takes please call to schedule an appointment with Rhonda or Jenn. For more information about the infertility process and available resources you can visit Resolve.