The Cedar Rapids Relationship Center is excited to announce the addition of a graduate student from Mount Mercy University to our office. Kiley is currently in her final year of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program. She will be working out of our office to gain experience providing therapy for clients. She will be working under the supervision of Jennifer Gage at our office while also receiving supervision through her professor at Mount Mercy.
This is a great opportunity for those in our community who do not have mental health insurance or would prefer not to go through it. Kiley will be seeing clients for the flat fee of $10 a session. If this is something you are interested in, do not hesitate to contact her and set up a time to come in.
“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.”
Everyone that read that line knew exactly how it was supposed to end. Unfortunately this “ideal” is often not reality. Many grow up with this dream for their future. Find a partner who you choose to spend the rest of your life with, marry and eventually have children. In couples struggling with infertility, this dream can seem more like a reminder of how others have it so much easier than they do. Dreams have a way of motivating us at times but also give us a sense of being stuck when we struggle to bring them into reality.
Imagine this. Your best friend comes over to tell you that she and her husband are getting a divorce. You are shocked. You knew they had some problems, but they always seemed to work through them. They seemed so happy last week. You probably spend time listening and consoling your friend, but maybe you should be avoiding her? Are you going to catch the divorce bug from her? What will this do to your relationship?
More than 20 years ago there was a psychologist by the name of Arthur Aron. His claim: He could make two strangers fall in love. This modern day “Cupid” claimed he only needed a few things: 1 male, 1 female, a laboratory, a list of 36 questions, and eye contact.
Let me explain a little further. In this study, a heterosexual man and woman entered a lab through separate doors. They proceeded to sit face to face and answer 36 questions of a personal nature. Finally, they stared into each other’s eyes for four minutes. The result: Cupid’s arrow was right on target. They were married six months later. Hmmm…skeptical? Too good to be true?
What is the formula for giving your partner the BEST gift this holiday season? All you need to know is what their love language is. Never heard of love languages? I tell you all about them here. Don’t know what YOUR love languages are? Take the test here. Once you have that figured out…here is what you do…
Gary Chapman’s, The Five Love Languages is based on the idea that we each have our own ways we express and experience love. He believes unhappiness occurs in relationships when these ways differ than between partners. The different ways one can express love have been divided into five categories, or languages. Imagine you and your partner each spoke a different language, now imagine trying to tell your partner you love them. It might be a little tricky. Some of the message might get through, but the depth of the feelings gets lost. The same thing happens when you speak different love languages.
Below I have written a brief summary of each of the five languages. I have also included tips on what you can do if your partner’s language matches one of them. The idea is to try your best to express your love in ways that mean the most to them. Speak their language! You will get the most bang for your buck.
Could it really boil down to a few small gestures to keep you connected and show your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife that you deeply care for them? Research shows that consistently doing the following five gestures has a huge impact on a couple’s level of happiness. The best part is that most of us aren’t withholding these gestures on purpose. We just don’t realize how massively important they are. They feel too simple to put much thought into, and at times may feel awkward.
All of the happiness habits are simple, learnable and doable. So now that we know they are important what if you try to add them to your relationship now.
The research did show that there were gender differences when it came to these 5 gestures. What makes women feel loved is slightly different than what men respond to. So what are the magical five acts that will impact your relationship? …