In my work as a therapist I have developed a special interest in working with couples. Due to this interest I have worked with many couples over the years who are struggling with figuring out what to do after an affair. It is not an easy process.
If you are reading this, most likely you have been involved on one side of an affair. Maybe you are the injured partner who is trying to decide what to do next. Maybe you are the partner who had the affair and are trying to figure out what you want. Which ever side you fall on, I hope you find some of this information helpful.
My first piece of advice is to take a deep breath. Nothing has to be decided right now. You have time to think. You have time to talk. You have time to process. You do not have to make a decision on anything right now. Give yourself some time.
Could it really boil down to a few small gestures to keep you connected and show your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife that you deeply care for them? Research shows that consistently doing the following five gestures has a huge impact on a couple’s level of happiness. The best part is that most of us aren’t withholding these gestures on purpose. We just don’t realize how massively important they are. They feel too simple to put much thought into, and at times may feel awkward.
All of the happiness habits are simple, learnable and doable. So now that we know they are important what if you try to add them to your relationship now.
The research did show that there were gender differences when it came to these 5 gestures. What makes women feel loved is slightly different than what men respond to. So what are the magical five acts that will impact your relationship? …
It feels like things have reached a breaking point in your relationship. It isn’t just your typical marital fights anymore. You need to do something different, now. There may be a time in your relationship that you hit that wall. This is usually when a couple (or family) will decide that it is time to involve a professional. Sometimes they have connections and can get a personal referral, but other times they end up on the internet, consulting everyone’s best friend, Google.
Looking for a therapist or counselor can become overwhelming, especially with the variety of licenses and degrees out there. When deciding whether to see a marriage and family therapist (LMFT), psychologist, mental health counselor (LMHC), or social worker (LISW), it is difficult to know if they will be a good fit. While personality is always an important piece, that isn’t something you can assess before meeting with the therapist. One area that you can look at beforehand is at the therapist’s qualifications and license.
First consideration what type of therapy you are seeking. While individual therapy is the stereotypical route in many mental health fields, the research has shown couple/family therapy to be an effective treatment option for a variety of symptoms and disorders. For many issues, it has even become the preferred method of treatment. As the need for this type of therapy increases so does the concern of the amount of training mental health professionals have in this unique type of therapy.
Psychotherapy is a tool that many people find beneficial at some point in their life. The research is there to show its effectiveness in treating many of life’s problems. Sometimes a person struggles with knowing if they are experiencing a little struggle, or if it is something serious enough to seek help from a professional. Most people who come into our offices are not “crazy”. They just need a little extra help finding their way or managing life circumstances. Therapists can help with a variety of things, including, grief, trauma, anger, eating disorders, parenting issues, relationship challenges, and a variety of mental health concerns. So how do you know when things are serious enough to seek out therapy? Here are five signs that seeing a therapist may be a good idea: